KFC
by Ricoch3t
Summary: Silly little fic... Getting KFC with a sleep deprived Kira and a hyperactive gothic supermodel was bound to be a bad idea... But then, L never really did understand social situations.


**DISCLAIMER: I disclaim! I disclaim!**

**KFC**

Yagami Light was frustrated beyond belief.

Standing in the front of the queue in the local KFC, with the other late nighters who were starting to become incredibly annoyed with the great detective L's inability to decide something as simple as _what to eat_.

"Ryuuzaki-kun! Decide!" moaned Misa from where she was stubbornly clinging to Light's left arm.

The girl behind the counter was looking at them strangely and Light had to admit that they had to make an odd bunch.

It had been two weeks of hell since he had been let out of his prison cell. In fact, Light would willingly go back into that cell if it meant he could just get a _break_.

For two weeks now he had been handcuffed to the eccentric detective and it was starting to grate on his nerves. He could only sleep every four days- which was when he literally passed out from exhaustion, bathing was only every five days and L was content to wear the same damn clothes for the duration of those five days.

Oh, and everything he did, was catalogued by the older man. From the way he pissed to the way he ate to… _everything_!

It was annoying.

So now you had two dishevelled looking males handcuffed together and one blonde pop icon clinging to one of these and… well. They were bound to get some strange looks.

And to top it all off, Ryuuzaki was taking his sweet time deciding what dessert he wanted.

This was a KFC dammit! They only had a normal cone, a flake cone and three kinds of Avalanches. It wasn't that much of a decision!

It had been a bright enough idea at first.

After pulling yet another all nighter, Misa had said that she was hungry. Noticing that it was three in the morning Light ostensibly suggested the KFC on the corner.

So, the three had headed off in a strange procession for the fast food place. Light wouldn't usually be caught dead in such a place but… well, he _was_ seventeen years old and it was three am.

He was hungry.

And now they were standing here, with L staring at the dessert menu as though disappointed and the customers behind them becoming angry.

"Excuse me." Light smiled charmingly at the girl behind the counter. "What's the sweetest ice cream you have?"

The girl blushed prettily, "Oh, it's the chocolate brownie Avalanche…"

"Is it horrifically sweet?"

The girl nodded. "Oh yes sir, it's far too sweet for my taste."

"Fine. We'll have one of those, a KFC Meal and a sweet chilli twister." Light smiled another disarming smile and the girl nearly swooned.

Misa glared at the girl behind the counter.

Ryuuzaki was merely staring at him thoughtfully.

"Here you go sir! Come again soon!" she smiled and waved after the strange trio.

xXxX

"Here Ryuuzaki- your ice cream. Misa, your twister."

And his own meal. Ah, eating food was a good change from the sweets the detective kept feeding him.

Ryuuzaki was still staring at the ice cream.

"Ryuuzaki-kun should eat his evilly perverted ice cream before it melts…"

The socially inept detective threw Misa a Death Glare, but she merely stuck out her tongue. Light found that he just hoped his chips wouldn't suffer…

"But…" the detective started.

"But what?" the other two occupants of the room asked, exasperated.

L made a face whilst looking at the ice cream. "It's _commercially available_."

Light merely stared at the other man while Misa huffed. The next thing Light knew, Misa was hanging over him and grabbing L's ice cream.

Now, this would hardly have been a problem if it hadn't been Misa. Wearing a puffy dress which resulted in her clearly visible black lace panties being shoved into Light's face.

And her corset caused her cleavage to be shoved into L's.

"Hmmmmm… this ice cream is good. And there's no poison in it either!" Misa exclaimed happily. "Now creepy perverted detective can eat it, ne?"

Except both the creepy, perverted detective and genius amnesiac mass murderer were… otherwise occupied.

Misa, being oblivious to their discomfort sidled back to her side of the couch.

Light found himself horrified that his body had let him down in such a way, because honestly, his mind was screaming at him to _back away_ slowly.

All he had wanted was a nice, quiet meal. Something with no sugar in it. And now… he was stuck with a problem he was quite unsure what to do about.

His eyes met L's slightly glazed, completely horrified ones and Light had to smirk.

Ah, so the man was only human after all.

"Ryuuzaki-kun…!" Misa pouted.

L obediently took the spoon between his thumb and forefinger and scooped up some of the melted ice cream and chocolate syrup. He suspiciously at the cookie-like thing also embedded into his ice cream.

"… I think that would be the brownie." Light said, looking at the horrible concoction.

"…" was L's only response. Misa huffed before once more flinging herself over the males to scoop up the unidentified object.

Her eyes lit up in unexpected delight. "Hmmmmm! Misa Misa will have to go to gym three times tomorrow, confess to her personal trainer and face consequences… but it is so worth it!" she squealed as she pried the dessert from the… _focused_ detective.

She was still emitting happy noises as she licked the spoon in a thoroughly provocative manner on her side of the couch.

Light was suddenly glad his meal had come in a box as he stood- carefully hiding himself behind the box and announcing that he should go throw it away.

At this L immediately threw a tantrum over his dessert and Light exasperatedly handed the man his mash and gravy before making good their escape.

xXxX

A few days later Matsuda and Takada had bought all the guys one of those meals- because it was a very manly meal to eat. And it was KFC- so it was cheap. And close by.

And they were all very manly, because they were all sitting there discussing manly things eating their manly meals. It was real guys bonding time.

They were just getting to the grunting and shoving stage when L and Light walked in.

L's eyes immediately lit up like they had discovered a new sweet treat. He swiped Takada's mash and gravy from the table, before running away.

Dragging a supremely confused Light behind him.

Twin thumps followed as Takada and Matsuda both fainted.

Not a very _manly_ thing to do.

But then, we can forgive them. Given these… circumstances.

* * *

Silly little fic... This is what happens when you live on KFC for too long kids.

Heed the old crone!


End file.
